Back in the OCS common leadership term and service term, I would like admit that I had it easy on me because I was always working with a section and a platoon of like-minded people. It was easy to click with them and the journey to get better was never ending because these people were always constantly pushing one another and striving toward greater heights. I was motivated and I was always giving my best for these people because some part of me knew that they wouldn’t let me down and that if I fell, they would catch me and push me back up. However, coming to professional term in Armour, I guess that drive to strive was slowly dissipating in my life.
I was initially really excited about becoming a Tankee and I still am because I want to become a good Officer who knows how to take care of his men. However, during these past few weeks, it’s been hard to keep sight of that desire. I’m always constantly worrying about my crew and also how I am not doing as well as I used to back in the previous two terms. I always thought that when the instructors said that it was going to be tough, I would be able to push on through with relative ease but circumstances change and the ideal state that I was once in is no longer there anymore.
That being said, I’m not giving up and I have no room to entertain such a thought. I’ve come so far and I have a long of list of people that I know are rooting for me back at home and who are my inspiration as to why I book in every week to do my best. I know that if I gave up now and decided to settle for the bare minimal and to just skim by my course, I wouldn’t be doing them justice and more importantly, I wouldn’t be happy with myself. I want this course to change me and I believe that change can only come through tough times. I know that if I persevere and push through, I will get better and although this road that I am currently on may be slightly more uneven and longer, the journey, upon looking back, will be sweeter.
Indeed for me, at this stage, I have made the best decision to embark on this journey to become an Officer for my country and there is no turning back.
My attitude has changed only because all these while I have always placed an emphasis and confidence in my external factors. However, I have come to realise that the most important factor that allows for consistency in one’s life is none other than you, yourself. I believe that if I push on through and if I tell myself that I can do it, then there is no obstacle too high for me to clear because whatever happens, I will find a way.
I have close to four months left and I have already made the decision to start off well, to end it well is also completely up to me. I know that tough times lie ahead but tough times don’t last, tough people do. Right from the onset, I have made myself a promise that when I commission I want to be able to take care of my men and to lead them well. If I can’t even push through this four months and commission as a confident and capable leader then how am I going to do that for them.
As the late Mr. Lee said:
“Could I have lived my life differently? May be yes. But probably not. At each stage, I made what was then the best choice. Having taken that decision, I changed direction and there was no turning back."
Indeed for me, at this stage, I have made the best decision in becoming an officer for my country and there is no turning back.