Monday, 10 December 2012

Beyond These Broken Pieces.

All my life I have had to deal with the fact of losing relevant people in my life and I have just about had enough of that. Maybe that explains why i'm so afraid of getting close to people because I know that eventually, if it's not them, it'll be me saying goodbye.

Sometimes life seems to put you on cloud nine... You feel that you've come so far and you think you've got it all, then life throws you a curved ball that you can't dodge. I know i'm not making much sense here but if you could step into my shoes, you'll see how hurt I am.

If you think you're hurt then see it from my side of the story.. 

How does it feel to have waited for 2 years on end for the right one to come by, 2 years to find a group of friends you thought would stay and whom you could confide in, and a total of 18 years and counting to continuously fight the demons in my life and to try and become a better person. From a nobody when I was younger to a semi-somebody now, then finally decide to put your faith into the people whom you thought would never ever fail you... 

I guess it's all a part of growing up. 

It's about being able to go through shit to become a better person. It's about the "Never Say Die" attitude that everyone raves about.  Well... I am still trying and I will never give up. 

At the end of the day, i'll just get used to losing people, maybe, because I have realised that no one ever stays or maybe I'm just the problem here. Till I figure out which is which, I'll never know. Then again, maybe i'm just confused but hopefully i'll see beyond these broken pieces.

If you ever chance upon this post, I want to let you know that everyone else has a right to be sad just like you do.  I want you to know that I still love you because I care but I do hope you will learn something from this episode. Till date, I have always been watching over you while you put me down, demean me and say things about me behind my back... but it's okay... 

If it makes you feel better let's leave it as that. 

Yes, I may not be the best of friends but that doesn't mean I don't try my best. And i'm still awaiting the day where i'll find a group of people who will love me for who I am, but that doesn't mean I'll stop loving all those around me now. Time doesn't stop just because you get hurt, I just need to pack up, become stronger and move forward. (:

Sometimes life works in funny ways but it's from such periods of low in a person's life that we learn most out of... even if it hurts. 

The most important thing for me is to remember that I have to keep smiling till the end of days. Knowing full well that the Lord has a plan... He always does and I will humble myself and follow. 


And that enough is reason to keep smiling.



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