Thursday, 29 September 2011

Never Enough.

I wish I could say that i'm not complaining about what my pay, but i need to..

I know I was fine at first because after all, I didn't really have a choice of a job, did I? I know you have my best intentions at heart but you don't understand how difficult it is when i'm working my butt off, even harder than most of my friends who are just stuck in the F&B line, and getting paid peanuts.

Like I said, I was fine at first but when my friends started to compare about their pay, I felt so stupid. 9days and I get paid $160. Argh. I calculated...

If i worked AT MACDONALDS, I get paid $5/hr and in one day, if i work for 9 hours, like i usually do, i get a total of $45/day.In one week, if i work for 3days, i get $125 dollars alrdy.2 weeks would give me $250,  $250 is so much more than my menial sum of $160. 

Sigh.. Yes! I understand that I need rest during the holidays, but can't you see that all my other friends are out working? I rest only with my friends. Not alone. If they are out working, i work with them. At least we have fun together. But right now i'm working with people i dont even know well.

Sometimes i wish i could be like other people so that i can just go out to work. I want the money, yes no doubt. You say my thinking is wrong about how i want the money to spend, i agree, but you cant blame me for that. I have nothing to do during the holidays thus i want to work and the last thing i need now is for my friends to compare their pay with mine.

I just hate it. I loathe it.

Next holidays, i want to work with my friends. PLEASE, just let me go. Let me go out and work. I know it's difficult for you, especially since you worry for me all the time, cause im the youngest and all but you know im independent.

Please give me a chance to earn some money of my own so that i can spend on things i like. So that when i return back to school i wont look like the old me - same clothes, same accessories, etc.

This feeling creates the desire for me to work hard in school and at least make it somewhere. In future, i will earn my money. I WANT TO HAVE THE FEELING OF BEING ABLE TO EARN SOMETHING EQUIVALENT TO THE AMOUNT OF WORK I PUT IN.

I cant stress it enough, i want to be able to be like my friends. Call me immature or whatever you want, tell me to stop comparing as well but I really want to work hard so that i can reap my own rewards. I hate the fact that my friends earn more when im working as hard as them. Sigh.

My GPA score seems meaningless now. So what if its good, im earning peanuts now. and Now is everything.

However, saying all that, I still love you guys as my parents. I know how you want me to rest because working can be tiring but my ultimate wish is to be able to be out there to have a taste of what it is like to work for your own money.

Hope this feeling won't last.

nowplaying: forever and always - parachute

im just a man, not a hero.

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